Spending the Gift of Life

There is only one success--to be able to spend your life in your own way. ~ Christopher Morley

Recently I had a very interesting discussion with a friend of mine. It was an old and rehashed discussion except that this time we had an injection of inspiration in the form of a rather tough yet enlightening conversation she had with a friend she hadn’t seen in nearly 10 years.

This conversation revolves around an issue that so many women seem to carry with them, literally and metaphorically. This issue is weight. At some stage of our lives most of us have wanted to, or still want to, lose weight. Some want to gain weight. Those of us that want to lose it often think “I would give an arm to be in a position to want to gain weight!” However, whether we want to gain or lose it all comes down to the same thing; the way we perceive our bodies and the importance we place on having the perfect body.

I know I have spent years with this inner and outer battle. Mainly I battle with the silly fact that what I take in from the outer to the inner in the form of “nourishment” reflects on the ever expanding outer surface of my body. Sigh. But I digress. I know that I have spent many a moment thinking “when I am thin I will... when I am thin then I will be...” You fill in the blanks.

There are so many excuses we have as to why we are not there yet. “I have no time for gym. I am single; it’s hard to cook for one. I am so busy that I eat on the go. I have emotional issues.” The list is endless. And yes, emotional issues need time and work before any healthy plan will be effective in the long run. However, there are three points I want to explore.

One, all the excuses are just that: excuses. When the hard question is asked, as was asked to my friend, and then to me by her, and the answer is honest, that answer is: I do not live the healthiest lifestyle that I could. The hard question of course was why are you overweight? When we took an honest look at things we both realised that if we really wanted to we could make being healthy the number one priority in our lives. Yes, it would take discipline and some hard work but the benefits start immediately and just get better and better. The biggest challenge is to overcome the instant gratification culture that we live in, but it can be done as so many people have proved.

Two, battling the bulge is not the primary concern. The primary concern is living life at an optimum level. When we are unhealthy in any way, we are not living our best life. I use the weight issue as this was our conversation. It could apply just as easily to that niggling cold, that niggling back pain, the regular headaches or migraines that we attribute to stress, financial problems or just that feeling of being not quite happy and knowing that there is more to life. When we are brimming with vitality anything is possible. We are then poised, ready to leap in any direction that brings our lives joy and meaning.

This leads me to the third point. Life, and the time we have to live it really is a gift. Think of it as the biggest gift voucher ever. Each of us gets an allotted amount of time to spend. What we spend it on has no limits. But the amount of time does. This little connection happened when researching quotes for a workshop I am holding. As soon as I read the words of the quote that open this article something clicked. How many years have I spent in the space of “if, when, then”? The answer is too many. How many years have you spent in this same space?

How do we change this?

Firstly, it’s time to stop saying if, when and then. It’s time to say “Now!” It’s time to define “What”. It’s time to ask “What do I want my life to be? What do I need to do to live that life? What does it mean to spend my life in my own way?” I know for me, part of that answer is not to spend another minute of my life wanting to be healthier and more energetic, wanting to have the perfect body so that I can then live a full life with a husband, children, adventure and exploration. There is no action in wanting. There is action in being. If I am healthy then I am energetic. If I am energetic then my life is adventurous. If I am adventurous then my path will lead me to every opportunity that I might have missed by staying in the grey space of when, and it will inform every choice I make going forward. And while all this healthy adventurous energy is swirling around I know that my body will return to its own perfect state as I spend my life in my own way.

What will return to its perfect state, what will you create, when you spend your life in your way? So its five months in to 2010, but it’s a fraction into the rest of the time on the gift voucher of life. Let’s spend the currency of life on what we want!

Life, The Universe & Everything Else

Yup, the title of this blog is the title of one of the books in my favourite trilogy in five parts - Hitchhikers Guide to The Galaxy, by Douglas Adams. But, this entry is about life as I see it, The Universe, (God), how I see it and everything else in between that has no neatly packagable label.
I have been on the most amazing journey in my life this week, which in snatched moments has been documented in previous blogs. Those blogs have been dashed out in moments between moments, never really capturing what is going on... what the universe, what God, is teaching me about everything else that happens in between life.
For a while now I have been in a really good space about my life - as I knew it. I have an awesome job, I get paid to fulfil my passion and as such the rest follows. I am happy as a person - I have wonderful friends and family, I see the beauty in every day, I have no lacks.
Then, this week I was challenged by three very distinct episodes. The first with my maid, Ana, the second with Simon, who made my absolutely awesome and pointless green beaded tortoise that serves no purpose except to sit on my counter and have people comment on it, and the most recently, Thandi and her son, relative strangers, house guests in my little flat.
All three of these episodes have turned my world upside down in five very short days. Simon and Ana challenged me to realize that things that I consider little irritations have the world of meaning for them. Thandi and her son have made me grateful for the life that I have, even more than seeing something beautiful in each day did.
In five short days my life has so much more meaning. Everyday I have a smile on my face and little things are just that, little things. And a smile that comes from contentment can overcome any little thing. In five short days the universe, God, has shown me how connected people actually are, and how important those connections are. Not just the obvious connections with friends and family, but those that are there when we open up our lives and forget to distrust and judge because we have learnt to.
In five short days, everything else has suddenly become something else, and someone else. Someone, or something, else that has something to teach me about Life and the universe, or God, and everything in between. And everything in between is our connection to our souls and our sense of belonging.
For the first time in my life, through this 5 day experience of Life, The Universe (I say God), and Everything Else, I feel a sense of belonging.
I belong to this world, to this country, to my family, my friends, and in this sense of belonging, everything is possible.
In this belonging every song has a melody, every sunset driven past after work is noticed and reveled in. Every conversation reveals something. Every moment is precious.
This sense of belonging is not just mine. It is there for every person to experience. In every moment. And it is this that I wish to communicate to people through my writing and my actions in life.

How to Step Out of Your Comfort Zone 101

1. Meet and see awesome jewelry from a woman selling jewelry at restaurants
2. Exchange numbers because you forgot to bring cash and must have that necklace
3. Use exchanged numbers to organize an exchange of another kind
4. Run into that person repeatedly and get excited about their dream of expanding a back room one person operation into a much bigger picture
4. Say that you can help
5. Get repeated missed calls presumably about said help
6. Phone back when time and get asked whether you can help with a huge problem - wonderful jeweler needs a place to stay urgently with her son. They don't have a place even for the night
7. Stammer out a response that you will think about something and call back
8. Ponder the options. No one you know has a room. Think of what it would mean to have a total stranger "off the street" in a very settled single person "I live alone with no routines and a lock up and go lifestyle"
9. Ponder the other option, saying no but knowing that this person might be out in the cold and you can't have that on your conscience as you get into a nice warm bed.
10. Make a decision.
11. Phone and say OK, I will help you and ask the relevant and logistical questions about daily life routines and future plans.
12. Decide on a time for Thandi to come round with her son.
13. Get home and wait. Time passes and no sign of Thandi.
14. Entertain a passing thought that maybe they made another plan and wait some more
15. Can't stand the waiting and phone to find out what is happening
16. They are right outside your door
17. Let them in
18. Listen to their story and marvel at yet another assumption made that has been obliterated about a certain 'type' of person
19. Reevaluate totally the transience of "stuff" and the true feeling of deciding to have faith in a total stranger, to trust in a total stranger and to regain a sense of community that perhaps in our fast paced self centric urban lives has been missing
20. Realize that there is something greater at work here
21. Lessons need to be learnt about opening up to strangers and realizing that they are not strange at all

And wham, you are out of your comfort zone with little stirrings of emerging lessons in life. This will be an ongoing topic as there is so much more to this situation than I am able to write in yet another long entry!