Monday, September 26, 2011

Glee in Mistakes

It also blows my mind that there are people that take a certain glee in another's (tiny) mistake and will loudly make it known to everyone. Rather go directly to that person but, in some places, there is a culture of public naming and shaming.

My response? "Smile and wave boys, smile and wave!"

One (tiny) mistake in the grand scheme of life? Pretty insignificant.

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Self esteem crisis averted

It blows my mind but you actually get people who will only greet the people in a room that they deign to for whatever reason. One because her fashion is fabulous. One because she's lost 15 kilos. One because he is a 'higher up'. The rest... fodder for the machine and nothing else.

I had a moment of "maybe I should only drink shakes all day too! Then I will get thin fast and warrant a nod or a hello." I also had a moment of "maybe I should change my style and be more 'out there'."

But - what if I did? Do I really want that nod? That hello? In the context of where I am now yes, it might give me a boost. But in the grander scheme of life, my wonderful rich, full life that is about much more than silly validation from someone that I probably wouldn't spend time with even if I was skinny and out there, I think not. Whew! Self esteem crisis averted!

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Reiki and Trauma

Fast asleep I was one night when something awoke me. I opened my eyes and there was my broom flailing through the window towards me. In a flash the lamp was knocked over and my cat flew off the bed swiftly followed by me in an uncharacteristic balletic leap accompanied by the loudest scream that has ever come out of my mouth. I screamed and screamed until the broom dropped and the guy who lives in the other cottage on the property called my name. I had screamed so much because in that split section I had realised my cell phone was nowhere to be seen (it’s usually on the bed side table which is between the bed and the window) and the only thing I could do was scream as loudly as I can to scare this intruder off.

Yup, a version of what has happened to so many of us had happened to me. Someone broke into the property. Luckily all he could do, and did, was take my phone. This happened at five in the morning so I didn’t lose a whole night of sleep. I went to work and did a sim swap back into my old phone. Sorted right? I thought so. But I couldn’t sleep; I would lie in bed seeing this broom coming through the window and feel that fear sensation in the pit of my stomach all over again. “Come on Dom!” I told myself. “Potential death by broom? Stop being so dramatic!” Slowly it faded and sleep got a bit better. I was a bit jumpy, but hey.

Then a week later I had a car accident. I won’t go into the whole story but it was bad enough that I couldn’t drive my car and ended up with a sore arm, sore shoulder, bruised chest and ankle. Again, I just dealt with it practically. I sorted a rental car from insurance, made all the necessary arrangements and gave myself some Reiki for the pain. A couple of days later I started feeling panicky for no reason. Fear would hit my stomach with no provocation. I felt fuzzy headed and I just couldn’t shake any of this.

There is an old saying: “I got such a fright I jumped out of my skin!” We have all said it or heard it. So many of these sayings have a root in some truth and even though I had learnt about this in my Reiki training I had forgotten about it. What am I talking about you wonder? When we have a shock or a trauma, our spirit literally lifts from our body for a split second. And some of it gets stuck in that experience.

We are not just our mind, or our body, or our spirit. We are all three. If something happens to us it happens on every level of our being. We operate on the practical or more physical plain because that’s what we humans have learnt. Something happens and we deal with it. We make practical arrangements to get our lives back in order, go to the doctor if we need to, make our insurance claims and get back to life. These are all actions based in the physical reality of our lives.

But our emotions and our spiritual well being are also impacted by everything we experience, yet we tend to discount this. I know for a fact that when things like this happen to us we tend to resist the emotional and spiritual healing we need. I did. “It was just a broom!” I said. “It could have been worse! My car can be fixed, I am insured, its fine!” I said. I gave myself Reiki for the pain, not for how I was feeling emotionally or spiritually.

A couple of days after starting to feel so freaked out I went to a Reiki exchange that a fellow Reiki practitioner and I had set up. Our Reiki teacher, and friend, decided to be present because she knew what had happened and I think she knew that I had forgotten to do the very thing for myself that we do for others as healers, focus on the balance of mind, body and spirit.

During my Reiki session the two of them worked on bringing forth the parts of me that were still stuck in the experiences of the last two weeks and healing them, then integrating them back into the full expression of my being. It was a beautiful experience and I got off that table feeling like myself again. I hadn’t realised how truly bad I had been feeling until just before the session ended I wanted to jump off the bed and leap back into my life with my old joy, energy and laughter. I was back.

There is so much more to say on why we resist the emotional and spiritual healing needed in such circumstances. There is also much more to say on how shock and trauma impacts us but for this article I want to outline how important it is to remember that we are body, mind and soul. When something happens that is traumatic, shocking or stressful we need to care for the whole expression of our being; go to the doctor, fix the car or the window or whatever, but also deal with the emotional and spiritual impact of what has happened or is happening.

I learnt a valuable lesson. Immediately after each event I could have focused on all of me. Perhaps I could have circumvented that awful feeling of losing control if I had remembered this. However, it was also an awesome reminder of why I was so drawn to learning Reiki. I was reminded of the powerful relief and healing that Reiki can bring to our lives.

If you are in need of Reiki please call me on 073 613 7615 or email me on flutterbyd@live.com. More information is available on my website: http://earthstarza.webs.com

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Spending the Gift of Life

There is only one success--to be able to spend your life in your own way. ~ Christopher Morley

Recently I had a very interesting discussion with a friend of mine. It was an old and rehashed discussion except that this time we had an injection of inspiration in the form of a rather tough yet enlightening conversation she had with a friend she hadn’t seen in nearly 10 years.

This conversation revolves around an issue that so many women seem to carry with them, literally and metaphorically. This issue is weight. At some stage of our lives most of us have wanted to, or still want to, lose weight. Some want to gain weight. Those of us that want to lose it often think “I would give an arm to be in a position to want to gain weight!” However, whether we want to gain or lose it all comes down to the same thing; the way we perceive our bodies and the importance we place on having the perfect body.

I know I have spent years with this inner and outer battle. Mainly I battle with the silly fact that what I take in from the outer to the inner in the form of “nourishment” reflects on the ever expanding outer surface of my body. Sigh. But I digress. I know that I have spent many a moment thinking “when I am thin I will... when I am thin then I will be...” You fill in the blanks.

There are so many excuses we have as to why we are not there yet. “I have no time for gym. I am single; it’s hard to cook for one. I am so busy that I eat on the go. I have emotional issues.” The list is endless. And yes, emotional issues need time and work before any healthy plan will be effective in the long run. However, there are three points I want to explore.

One, all the excuses are just that: excuses. When the hard question is asked, as was asked to my friend, and then to me by her, and the answer is honest, that answer is: I do not live the healthiest lifestyle that I could. The hard question of course was why are you overweight? When we took an honest look at things we both realised that if we really wanted to we could make being healthy the number one priority in our lives. Yes, it would take discipline and some hard work but the benefits start immediately and just get better and better. The biggest challenge is to overcome the instant gratification culture that we live in, but it can be done as so many people have proved.

Two, battling the bulge is not the primary concern. The primary concern is living life at an optimum level. When we are unhealthy in any way, we are not living our best life. I use the weight issue as this was our conversation. It could apply just as easily to that niggling cold, that niggling back pain, the regular headaches or migraines that we attribute to stress, financial problems or just that feeling of being not quite happy and knowing that there is more to life. When we are brimming with vitality anything is possible. We are then poised, ready to leap in any direction that brings our lives joy and meaning.

This leads me to the third point. Life, and the time we have to live it really is a gift. Think of it as the biggest gift voucher ever. Each of us gets an allotted amount of time to spend. What we spend it on has no limits. But the amount of time does. This little connection happened when researching quotes for a workshop I am holding. As soon as I read the words of the quote that open this article something clicked. How many years have I spent in the space of “if, when, then”? The answer is too many. How many years have you spent in this same space?

How do we change this?

Firstly, it’s time to stop saying if, when and then. It’s time to say “Now!” It’s time to define “What”. It’s time to ask “What do I want my life to be? What do I need to do to live that life? What does it mean to spend my life in my own way?” I know for me, part of that answer is not to spend another minute of my life wanting to be healthier and more energetic, wanting to have the perfect body so that I can then live a full life with a husband, children, adventure and exploration. There is no action in wanting. There is action in being. If I am healthy then I am energetic. If I am energetic then my life is adventurous. If I am adventurous then my path will lead me to every opportunity that I might have missed by staying in the grey space of when, and it will inform every choice I make going forward. And while all this healthy adventurous energy is swirling around I know that my body will return to its own perfect state as I spend my life in my own way.

What will return to its perfect state, what will you create, when you spend your life in your way? So its five months in to 2010, but it’s a fraction into the rest of the time on the gift voucher of life. Let’s spend the currency of life on what we want!

Thursday, September 18, 2008

True Celebrity True Charity

Corporate or industrial theatre is often seen in the theatre industry as the cop out, the sell out. It is like waitressing to a restaurateur, adverts to a filmmaker, copy to someone who dreams of being a novelist. In other words it is often seen as the necessary evil in order to bring in the bacon doing something that resembles your passion, while dreaming of said passion.

Or is it?

In a way, yes. I began in industrial theatre when I finished varsity as a means to get into the industry. What happened though was that I fell in love with what we do. I fell in love with the fact that though theatre we communicate messages to people from all walks of life and essentially aim to make their lives better in some way. Whether it is saving lives with HIV & Aids interventions, or motivating people using a play about transformation and diversity, or even just presenting the joy of the journey of a theatre play to people who don't usually get to experience the magic. I still dream of writing a novel and I will be published, however the two are not separate entities. The two types of writing, of expression, feed into each other, influence each other.

What this little diatribe is getting to is that in this industry of industrial theatre we use actors. And it amazes me that in this totally unglamourous field that exists to serve people we have actors with celebrity issues.

When asked to do a charity show to underprivileged children we had two actors make comments like: "I no longer do free shows". Or: "That NGO offered to pay me to teach there so I don't see why I should do the show for free. Really, we do so much free stuff."

Really? REALLY? Are you serious? The words in type may not convey the attitude that accompanied them in speech. The attitude was pure... pure... words fail. Lets try again. Entitlement perhaps? Ego? Arrogance? And where does this come from in such a supposedly humbling job that is so so far away from the shining lights and grandeur of "real" theatre?

Then you look at celebrities... People such as Angelina Jolie spring to mind. Oprah Winfrey. Plenty of South African celebrities who have done countless charity events - songs, performances and the like. These people are surrounded by lights and glory that have the potential to seed huge egos yet they do things for free. Yes, they have more than enough money. However, I don't think charity rests only on money. To me charity means giving of something you have in abundance to empower the lives of those less fortunate. You can give of time, of love, of talent and of money. The charity that has the greatest effect in my mind is that which cannot be measured in money. Someone will forget that R500 odd rands but might remember forever the time they got to spend with someone inspiring, or the time they were the recipient of someones talent that perhaps inspired them to great achievement.

For me true celebrity is gracious and generous and then you are not only surrounded by light and glory, but you create it. It radiates from within. I wish I could tell this to the people I encountered in my quest to secure a free show. And as I write this I realize that I started this as a an opinionated rant underpinned by the need to correct what I see as wrong. I realize that actually, I find it sad that a lot of people don't realize the joy that comes from giving without wanting gain. The person living in the "I only work if I get paid" world is really living in the world of "I have lost my passion." I realized this myself recently when I uncovered another passion and as I am not trained feel obliged to do it for free. I felt that I would do it even if free is the only option purely because I love it. It also made me look at my main passion that I am lucky enough to earn money from - writing. I thought to myself if I am always putting a price on that writing, and I defend that price quite rigorously often, am I still passionate about it? Well then I remembered that I write for free all the time. I write my novels for free (at the moment). I write these blogs for free. I write in my journal for free. I try to inspire people with words for free all the time - silly things like cards and interoffice communications. Why? Because I am compelled to. And because I love writing so much, and I love inspiring people to reach their dreams no matter what they be, I will gladly do it for free. I think this is the point that I have been led to. Charity can only stem from a place of passion. Because when you are living with passion it is that passion that needs to spill over. Happiness comes from the act of doing it and not necessarily from what you get from it and this opens up the space for true effective giving.

So now, what I would say to my colleagues if I could: "I really really hope that you rediscover the reason that you do this work and find the passion again. And if you can't may you find the passion that is naturally yours that allows you the freedom to gain happiness from the very act of doing whatever that passion may be so that maybe it can spill over and touch the lives of those less fortunate so that they in turn may be inspired to find their own passion and happiness. The world really can be a better place".

Saturday, July 26, 2008

The Sound of Saturday

Awoken by a dream I glance
at my phone wondering
Am I late?
Will I be rushing for work?
I look
I listen
No normal morning sounds
I remember
Saturday
No shrilling alarm
No traffic sounds
No urgency
I sink back into sleep only to be awoken
by the possibility of missing the light that
I miss at work
So craving sleep
I get up
And do the mindless Saturday things
I clean
I wash clothes
and I sit outside and listen
to the sounds of Saturday
I hear birds I cannot name
The buzz of a lawnmower
powered by a neighbour I don't know
A plane above takes people
to destinations unknown
and I dream with the buzz as it passes
of places that I do not know yet
I turn my face to the warm sun
revealed by the sound of a passing plane
and sit dreaming
thinking
the birds I cannot name
someone can
The owner of the lawnmower
has a story
The plane above is full of dreams
wishes
hopes
thoughts
Possibility
I yearn for the blossoms on my trees
that say Spring!
I yearn for warmer
I yearn for blossoms in abundance
I yearn for sunlight felt on
Saturday skin
not hinted at by sound
but felt
by warmth of the sun
seen in pink sweet smelling blossoms and Jasmine
I yearn for time to explore this sense
this scent
that is not confined to Saturday sounds
That is not confined to Saturday.

© Dominique Masson 2008

Sunday, July 20, 2008

Life, The Universe & Everything Else

Yup, the title of this blog is the title of one of the books in my favourite trilogy in five parts - Hitchhikers Guide to The Galaxy, by Douglas Adams. But, this entry is about life as I see it, The Universe, (God), how I see it and everything else in between that has no neatly packagable label.
I have been on the most amazing journey in my life this week, which in snatched moments has been documented in previous blogs. Those blogs have been dashed out in moments between moments, never really capturing what is going on... what the universe, what God, is teaching me about everything else that happens in between life.
For a while now I have been in a really good space about my life - as I knew it. I have an awesome job, I get paid to fulfil my passion and as such the rest follows. I am happy as a person - I have wonderful friends and family, I see the beauty in every day, I have no lacks.
Then, this week I was challenged by three very distinct episodes. The first with my maid, Ana, the second with Simon, who made my absolutely awesome and pointless green beaded tortoise that serves no purpose except to sit on my counter and have people comment on it, and the most recently, Thandi and her son, relative strangers, house guests in my little flat.
All three of these episodes have turned my world upside down in five very short days. Simon and Ana challenged me to realize that things that I consider little irritations have the world of meaning for them. Thandi and her son have made me grateful for the life that I have, even more than seeing something beautiful in each day did.
In five short days my life has so much more meaning. Everyday I have a smile on my face and little things are just that, little things. And a smile that comes from contentment can overcome any little thing. In five short days the universe, God, has shown me how connected people actually are, and how important those connections are. Not just the obvious connections with friends and family, but those that are there when we open up our lives and forget to distrust and judge because we have learnt to.
In five short days, everything else has suddenly become something else, and someone else. Someone, or something, else that has something to teach me about Life and the universe, or God, and everything in between. And everything in between is our connection to our souls and our sense of belonging.
For the first time in my life, through this 5 day experience of Life, The Universe (I say God), and Everything Else, I feel a sense of belonging.
I belong to this world, to this country, to my family, my friends, and in this sense of belonging, everything is possible.
In this belonging every song has a melody, every sunset driven past after work is noticed and reveled in. Every conversation reveals something. Every moment is precious.
This sense of belonging is not just mine. It is there for every person to experience. In every moment. And it is this that I wish to communicate to people through my writing and my actions in life.